How to Smalltalk

We all know the uncomfortable situation: You just met a new person and as the silent tension rise so does the question “what should we talk about?”

Through my years in the sales business I have gathered a couple of simple techniques to Smalltalk, which help to build instant rapport and comfort with any person you just met. This may seem a bit superficial, but hey - is'nt that what smalltalk is all about?


6 Easy Techniques to Smalltalk

1. Topics to talk about
First thing first. When you start a conversation with a person you’ve just met it is important to start off with easy and non touchy topics. Politics, Religion, Sexual orientation and so on are no goes. Instead use soft subjects that are easy for almost anyone to talk about.

Examples:
· Interests
· Holiday
· Work

2. Closed questions
Closed questions are characterized by limited possibilities of answers. It does not take a lot from the other person to reply, which makes it easy for the conversation to get flowing.

Examples:
“Are you having a great day?” (YES/NO)
“Are you going on holiday this summer?” (YES / NO)
“Where do you come from?” (Sweden)

With these questions the ball is passed back to you and you are naturally expected to serve the next question. Furthermore closed questions work as activators for deeper questions later in the conversation and are naturally followed by open questions.

3. Open questions
Open questions oblige your conversationalist to answer in a longer sentence, and often require the person to think about the answer. This kind of question is great for building comfort, and makes the conversation seem more natural.

Open questions are often made off the reply the other person just gave you on a closed question:

Examples:
“What makes it great?”
“Where are you going on holiday?”
“What brings you here?”

4. Listening sounds
When we are having a Smalltalk conversation it is important to seem interested in what the other person is telling you about. This technique is powerful, and you probably already do it without thinking about it. Listening sounds are small sounds or words you say when the other person talks.

Examples:
“Aha”, “I see”, “Wow”, “Really?”, “is that so?”, “Wow, that’s a lot” - You catch the drift.

Listening sounds signalize that you are interested in what the other person says, and motivate them to keep on going.

5. Duplicating
This is a simple, yet very powerful technique for keeping the other person talking.
Duplicating is easy: Simply duplicate a word or phrase in the talker’s sentence as a question. You can keep the conversation going for a long time just by using this simple technique, and the other person will think you are a great listener.


Example:
Her “This summer I am going to Italy, to visit my family”
You “Wow nice… Family in Italy?”
Her “Yeah, part of my family lives in Italy, and this summer my has invited all the family having to celebrate his birthday in his home city Toscana”
You “I see. Toscana?”
Her “Yeah it’s a beautiful city in Italy known for their great food”


6. Mirroring
We all seem to like the persons that we have something in common with. Therefore always try to mirror your common interests.

Example:

“Wow, you love Italian food, me too! What’s your favorite?”
Hello my new best friend :)

Now this is just my version. Critics and suggestions are more than welcome.

Stay froggen in